Graceful Parenting in Austin

Jaime Lynn Spears, star of Nickelodeon’s Zoey 101 TV show and younger sister of Britney Spears, is pregnant at sixteen. Everyone has an opinion, mostly that this is ridiculous and her Mother should be shot. But my opinion is different. I may be the only Mom who is going to encourage my daughters to get knocked up when they are young…

My generation has it all, marriages for love, powerful careers and a family with 2.5 kids. Well, some of us. I figured out that maybe you can’t have everything, at least not at the same time. I got married at thirty-five and started trying for kids soon after my 36th birthday and it was too late for natural reproduction that involved real sex to actually make a baby. My baby involved many agonizing years and more medical intervention than I dreamed possible and I survived to say - there must be a better way.

An article in the Washington Post yesterday talked about a new trend of married college graduates having babies in their twenties. The young parents feel so out of place, such an oddity among mostly older parents with kids the same age.

I think these parents are brilliant! Because, you know what? Women’s bodies were made to have kids in their twenties. So why not give mother nature a chance and take care of business sooner?

I know, I know. Women need to have careers. And I’m all for that. I believe in the college degree and some experience, so you know you are able to support yourself. But I don’t buy the argument that people can’t take time off from their career when they are younger. I think it would even be easier then, when positions have less responsibility.

I think there is a general perception that people can wait until their thirties to get married and then have kids until they are forty, no problem. It’s no problem for people with tens of thousands of dollars to spend and unlimited emotional resources to deal with the disappointments and a flexibly sense of morality to help make decisions about which embryos will live and which will die. And not everyone gets pregnant. Waiting could mean that you don’t have children at all.

I don’t regret my path. I believe fertility doctors and clinics provide options that bring new life into the world and they are valuable for people who have difficulty conceiving for many different reasons. But, if I had known the cost of all of that and if I had been able to, I would have gotten married and had children sooner.

So, I exaggerate when I say I will encourage my daughters to get knocked up like Jamie Lynn Spears. I think it is best to finish High School. Well, college too and to be married and in an emotional and financial position to support children. But I will let them know that you can’t always have everything you want all at the same time and if having a family is important to them, to take care of that business earlier, when mother nature is on your side.